Good Vibes Only

I don't know how everyone else in the world is sleeping tonight, but I can't stop thinking about how the view from my front window is a beige cinderblock building. Even with my eyes closed, I see it. I think about how the spirituality of the day is "good vibes only" and sometimes I say that under my breath as I look out at the world, or whatever isn't obscured by that ugly cream-colored turd. There's a bay behind it. The kind that isn't busy at all. The kind that looks like the beach in The Truman Show. There's a bridge for a freight train to the west which gives some illusion of freedom. At least something is getting out of here fast even if it isn't me. Not that I have a place in mind. Mothers and fathers can radiate disappointment from any distance, especially when they still pay your phone bill. I would like to cut the wallet strings but I am honest with myself, if not my parents, about my abilities in that I have none. They say millennials are entitled from participation trophies and too much tv but I think our parents were the ones who really fell for that crap. Like my mom really thought I was Lorelei Gilmore or some shit, and I'm not even trying to play along but you know, good vibes only, so when she calls me, I ignore the burning in my stomach and say things like, "Work is going amazing. I'm really ready for more responsibility. You really do have to grow where you're planted." And "the class? Oh my God. It's awesome. I love it. This is truly the best application of my passions." Sometimes she decides to really go for it like, "Is that boy ever going to ask you to marry him?" Oh my god. Definitely. He's the one. He's amazing. Perfect. I love him. Then, inevitably, I "have" to go, but I keep the spirit of broken hopes alive by scrolling instagram. Oh! So and so bought a house. Good for them. Oh, that Khloe Kardashian is in such great shape now. Oh, these 30 people are all on different vacations. Hey, look it's a beach. Look it's a wedding. Look she's pretty. Look at that fancy meal. Look at this beige, cinderblock piece of shit antfarm building. Look at my alarm clock app going off for work on a sunday morning. Look at the pretty plastic bags sailing across the street. "Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?" No, Katy, I don't think I've ever felt like a plastic bag, but do you ever feel like wrapping one around your head? And what's your mom like on the phone? Is she like, "that Ariana Grande sure is cute though." And "that Lady Gaga really has some pipes, don't you think?" Or is it all #goodvibesonly ?